mend this broken heart

this blog will disappear on the day that my heart is alive again


Call me lonely

for crying on my cold marble floor

as thoughts of you rush by

back and forth

back and forth

as i chase after you

in my head.


Call me weak

for crying on my cold marble floor

as dreams of a tomorrow flicker

in and out

in and out

as i reach for you

in my head.


Call me insane

for crying on my cold marble floor

as this foolish aching heart

shivers and screams

shivers and screams

as i fight for you

in my head.


Call me what you will

for crying on my cold marble floor

as i suffer with this disease

of being trapped

in my world

my world of you.





how they fill their heads,

their lungs


their hearts,

with toxins

that help them


and help them



not for me.

oh no, they never were.


For what else could my toxin be,

but thoughts of you?



wild things run free


but baby,

just say the word

& my heart is yours to cage.


we were fools

as we lay there

in the parking lot

like two lost lovers

on a starry friday night.


we were fools

to believe that

our love had a place

on tar and gravel,

when it had no place in the universe.


we were fools.


don’t you remember

how the wind swept my hair

& how we ran across roads like naive children in play?


don’t you remember

how you clung onto the hem of my dress

& how your lips longed for my touch?


don’t you remember

how your breath carressed my neck

& how you asked me at 3.00 am if i would see you one last time?


i remember,

but my darling,


you forget.


to me,

you are the promise of a summer

to come. 

the summer

that will take away

my hearts winter.

so, i wait.

i wait.

i wait knowing that

you are the promise of a summer

that never



if i can hear

my hearts longing

over all of


loud music




how far gone am i? 


2 hours of self-loathing

a minute or two of tears on the subway

and a scoop of ice cream later,

i feel okay




 it is supposed to be beautiful

is it not?

the flowers you walked past for years

are suddenly radiant

you catch yourself smiling sheepishly

while you shuffle your feet

and wait

to melt

when he looks into your eyes.

what a dream

love can weave

i hope you have felt these things

but mostly,

i hope that the person you felt these things for


felt them back.